Week three: Triggers and influences

As an actress I tend to use music a lot for my preparation. The music I pick depends on what kind of character I'm playing and how they're feeling at that time in their life. For me this has resulted in a lot of Portishead, Damien Rice and Rachmaninoff. Now, that's all stellar music but it's so damn sad. I've played such tormented people! I guess they bring the drama. You should see me getting my touch ups before a dramatic scene; I'll have my headphone's in, feeding my sadness whilst looking at the make up artist like they did me wrong and I'm plotting their murder. They're not faced, they know what I'm up to. I hope. Although most of my characters throughout the years have been pretty dramatic, I've also been very lucky to channel characters that fuel my inner diva. That's when music from Rihanna, Beyonce and Bjork works wonders, when I need some fierce female inspo. So it's not all blobby teary stuff, thank god. It might be a rhythm that speaks to the character, a lyric, a style, a certain period or an attitude. This I've discovered works very well for myself in real life. If music can trigger all sorts of feelings and emotions then it can certainly make you feel good too. And consciously using that to trigger some happy feelings is a very good thing my friends.

So, this past week I've been focusing on triggers and influences. I started putting together a happy playlist to get myself in a good mood when I need a little boost. It definitely works. It's important to be attentive to what affects us in our environment. We can't control everything we're exposed to but we can certainly censor it when needed. This morning I woke up after a wretched dream that the boyfriend had cheated on me multiple times. The real version of him didn't seem too sorry as he said he hadn't actually done anything. It was a dream. I was livid regardless. How dare he. As if he shouldn't take responsibility for upsetting me in my sub-conscious. I mean he shouldn't but I felt strongly about this having just woken up in a state. He said "you've been watching too much Californication. That's true. We watched a whole season of Californication the day before; "David Duchovny plays a Bukowski like novelist in LA that screws everything that moves without ever truly facing the consequences. Of course the show seeped into my sub-conscious. Same with my favourite podcast My Favourite Murder. I listened to so many true stories of real life murders that I couldn't go to the grocery store anymore or walk to my car without imagining some crazed serial killer following me with an axe. The cashier is a murderer, the neighbour is a murderer, what if the boyfriend is a murderer? a cheater and a murderer! I gotta reconsider. Not really of course. Just taking you through a typical thought process of a hyper influenced individual. Again, I love that podcast but I've had to spread out the listening a bit. Pick the right times. So my point is: know what makes you happy, know what makes you sad and everything in between. It can be music, movies, tv, food, people, places and things. Cause if you're happy, you're positive and when you're positive, very cool things start to happen.

Here's a little taste of my go to happiness. Hope it brings you some too. (apologies if there's a problem listening outside the States but I hope you feel inspired to make your own list).

What I learned last week:

• The little things like a good piece of music can make such a difference and potentially change some of the bigger things or how you think about them.

• Watching too much true crime can mess you up for sure. Tread carefully. But also don't walk alone at night in a dodgy area.

What to focus on this week:

• My last week of focused positivity; Just kicking it into high gear, if I'm not feeling it, pretend it and eventually outside will become inside. I hope.

• Making sure I do at least one thing every day that makes me really happy.

It's the little tings people. the little tings.

H

#goodthoughts #positivity #music #goodvibes #triggers #influences