End of Swap Four: Less talking more listening

Hi guys! It’s me, I’m still alive. I just liked not talking so much I ended up going mute for two months straight.

Not really. Can you imagine? I was on stage every night. That would have been an interesting interpretation of a character that had lines. No, I just went on an unplanned hiatus. I relocated back to London with the husband and somehow I couldn’t bring myself to sit down and write anything remotely interesting until now. I’ll let you be the judge of the interesting part though.

Let’s pick up where we left off. I declared that one of my bad habits was talking too much. Not all the time everywhere, but I can easily get carried away with the blab at the expense of the person in front of me. I’m sorry person. My mission was clear and simple. Swap talking for listening.

I gotta say, this wasn’t as hard as I thought it was gonna be. The only thing you really need for this challenge is focus. I mean, focusing in general can be bloody difficult and I believe that my downfalls in the past have been because of me trying to focus on too many things at once. But this time, it was only on listening, and realising when I had gone off on a tangent into Blabberville; a town I’m a proud co-founder off. I say co-founder because my experience has shown me that I’m most definitely not the only resident. At first I kept trying not to say anything at all. I was like ‘Ok Heida, just don’t talk unless someone speaks to you first’. And then the morning would go by during rehearsals, we’d have a tea break and no one would say anything and I’d be like ‘Guys! Did you see the huge pigeon outside!’ I can’t not talk! I can’t not bring stuff up or contribute to a conversation. And then I quickly realised this challenge wasn’t about never speaking first, It was about balance. I’d like to believe that it’s just as annoying for most people to hang out with someone who never says anything as well as a person who says too much. As long as I stayed focused, I managed not to tip the scale.

My favourite thing that happened during this challenge was that my new friend who I’d made during rehearsals said out of the blue “You’re such a good listener” She had no idea I was neck deep in challenge mode. That compliment made me confident for the rest of the time that I could indeed do this. And it felt really great. To have someone feel like they could talk to me and confide in me without being worried I’d hijack the conversation. Not that I would always have done that before but I’m sure it has happened in my 31 years on Earth. ‘Yes’ Nod my friends as they read this. ’yes it has’.

It’s been like two months now and I haven’t actively been doing the challenge the entire time, but I think it pretty much worked! I now find myself in situations where if I seem to go off on a lengthy story that no one asked for, the little sheriff from Blabberville taps me on the shoulder and gives me a warning. Although if he’s a sheriff from Blabberville maybe he’s in favour of the blab? Hmm…

So all in all, it was a pretty successful challenge and I hope this improved habit will stick. I feel like it has so far. I hope my friends won’t beg to differ.

Stay tuned for a brand new swap coming next week!

I’m back from the dead. Promise.

H