Swap Five: I spend too much time in bed.

I'm writing this from my bed. The place I cannot get enough of. This is obviously mainly a problem when I have time off, but I'm so bad at having time off! It's not constructive for me. You know when people say, 'You can't just lie in bed all day'. Well yes, yes you can my friend. My beautiful fluffy pad. My own little paradise of comfort, security, and Netflix. I may have had to put the season finale of RuPaul's Drag Race on pause for this post so just so you know I'm sacrificing a lot right now.

I don't even know why I pay for a living room, I barley know what it looks like. My husband shares this little cocoon with me at night, sleeps, and then he gets out of bed in the morning and starts his day. Like a normal person. I however... If I don't HAVE to be out the door, I'm staying RIGHT. HERE. Writing, emailing but more importantly, Buzzfeeding, Instagramming, Netflixing and wondering where the day went. By admitting this, it is of course evident that some of my old habits I've previously tried to ditch like tv binging have found their way back to me. I actually think I spend all this time in bed because I allow all my electronics in it. Perhaps only one specific electronic should be allowed in bed if you know what I mean... Wink emoji. Eggplant emoji. So, apart from that, not allowing laptops and phones in bed might be the solution to kicking my bed addiction. However, as I look out the window at the grey, rainy day that I heard from my husband on the phone was a freezing one, I find it increasingly harder to give this up. It's all well and good to jump out of bed on a nice sunny day and go frolicking on the heath, but the cold damp darkness of winter makes me want to buy seven more furry blankets on Amazon and become a hermit extraordinaire. But no more. Hopefully.

My main problems to tackle are: Waking up, scrolling through Instagram immediately and wasting at least half-an-hour or more on videos of cats, dogs, and random girls twerking and then sedating myself in the evening with a few episodes of Friends or something to take the edge off. I know I shouldn't fall asleep to the TV but for some reason it's been a realised dream of mine ever since I first dosed off in front of Sabrina The Teenage Witch back in the 90's. I know it's not good for me. I know my sleep gets compromised and I end up having weird dreams about Chandler in Friends being my father and my siblings are a duck and a chicken and I can't leave the apartment. Ever.

As nice as it is to wear pyjamas all day and pretend the outside doesn't exist; as a self employed person with a very disjointed schedule and little self discipline, I worry if I don't check myself in this area I'll forget what my limbs are made for. Also my back hurts.

So the challenge is simple: Spend less time in bed.

THE RULES

Starting tomorrow:

• No phones, laptops or chargers in the bedroom. Ever.

• I have to get up once I'm awake.

• No hanging out in bed until I go to sleep.

• No transferring this behaviour to another area in the house like the sofa.

I'm hoping once I kick this habit my bed will become a haven for serenity and intimate connectivity only. I don't want to wear it out in the wrong way if you know what I mean... Wink emoji.

I'll regret these innuendos when it's too late. Now, back to Ru.

H